What If You Catch Another lover With Your Spouse?
Almost daily, we read in magazines or watch on the television about women who are caught red handed in promiscuous acts by their husbands. We also read about the reactions of the men involved. Some of the lovers cover up their nudity with towels or trousers or such scanty-clothing. Some on the other hand boldly challenge the legitimate husbands.
The husband's reactions almost always follow a particular pattern. They explode with rage, and some in such blind anger shoot the wife and her lover or beat the wife to a pulp when the lover might have escaped.
We read these things fleetingly with detached interest as if they really couldn't happen to us. The kind of detached interest we have for a man whose properties were stolen and his wife raped in addition by a gang of robbers.
''Such things will always happen to the next man, not to us'', we say. That's a nice optimistic way of looking at life, and it saves a lot of unnecessary pressures. Except, of course, that it does not prepare one for the shock that comes when one finds himself or herself in such a situation.
Most men I talked to just said simply '' That's the end of us. I'll just tell her calmly to pack her things and follow her lover.'' But how calmly can you be in such a state of betrayal. And in any case, you can't get in and out of marriages like you can shirts. There are certain ties attached to the married life that just can't be severed over night. There are the children , the family, the friends and the routine way of life that has become part of you both.
A friend thought about these ties and said ''if my husband is having an affair, I'd rather not know''. We all will rather not know. But sometimes fate intervenes and things come out in the open.
A man was told about his wife's adultery he never believed it, the following day during the break period, he went out to the rendezvous and true enough caught his wife going into a guest house with another man. He was so shocked to the bone that a friend who accompanied him had to drive him home. But, the remarkable thing here is that the man did not mention anything to his wife at home.
And now, months after the wife's affair had broken down and things had almost gone back to normal, he was asked by his friend why he did not react, he said '' should I destroy what we have built for ten years because of an act of infidelity?, besides, I too have had casual affairs with other girls.''
But not all men can look at things in such a rational way. That green-eyed monster that eats into us and constantly strives to dominate our lives does not recognize rationality. Men who flirt about and have scores of girl friends will hit the ceiling with jealousy if they find any of their girl friends with another man. True it is.
A man I know fairly well went to a party with a girl and unexpectedly found his wife with another man at the party, he quietly passed his companion onto another friend, and without bothering who his wife's partner was, he started challenging her, creating a scene.
He never bothered about his own infidelity, but was quick to judge the wife. Jealousy is good, it shows the other partner that you care about her and are inclined to be possessive over her, but it should not go further than that, because no form of tie legal or illegal can completely put a girl under a man, it takes love and understanding to do that, not law and jealousy.
when the green-eyed monster starts compelling you to go to such ridiculous ends as to start suspecting everything your wife does, or to start asking her how many affairs she has had and how many times she has committed abortion, it will pay to tell yourself, that you are threading on dangerous grounds and what you will find out, are the ugly things which will not only hurt you, but which you cannot do anything about.
Certainly it hurts when someone we love and trust betrays us, but let's not hurt ourselves further by making irrational decisions that we may regret later. If you have not experienced this form of betrayal(adultery) in your marriage, I pray you will never experience it, but remember to ask yourself this question now!
''WHAT WOULD I DO IF I CATCH MY SPOUSE WITH ANOTHER LOVER?'' you can leave your answers below.
We read these things fleetingly with detached interest as if they really couldn't happen to us. The kind of detached interest we have for a man whose properties were stolen and his wife raped in addition by a gang of robbers.
''Such things will always happen to the next man, not to us'', we say. That's a nice optimistic way of looking at life, and it saves a lot of unnecessary pressures. Except, of course, that it does not prepare one for the shock that comes when one finds himself or herself in such a situation.
Most men I talked to just said simply '' That's the end of us. I'll just tell her calmly to pack her things and follow her lover.'' But how calmly can you be in such a state of betrayal. And in any case, you can't get in and out of marriages like you can shirts. There are certain ties attached to the married life that just can't be severed over night. There are the children , the family, the friends and the routine way of life that has become part of you both.
A friend thought about these ties and said ''if my husband is having an affair, I'd rather not know''. We all will rather not know. But sometimes fate intervenes and things come out in the open.
A man was told about his wife's adultery he never believed it, the following day during the break period, he went out to the rendezvous and true enough caught his wife going into a guest house with another man. He was so shocked to the bone that a friend who accompanied him had to drive him home. But, the remarkable thing here is that the man did not mention anything to his wife at home.
And now, months after the wife's affair had broken down and things had almost gone back to normal, he was asked by his friend why he did not react, he said '' should I destroy what we have built for ten years because of an act of infidelity?, besides, I too have had casual affairs with other girls.''
But not all men can look at things in such a rational way. That green-eyed monster that eats into us and constantly strives to dominate our lives does not recognize rationality. Men who flirt about and have scores of girl friends will hit the ceiling with jealousy if they find any of their girl friends with another man. True it is.
A man I know fairly well went to a party with a girl and unexpectedly found his wife with another man at the party, he quietly passed his companion onto another friend, and without bothering who his wife's partner was, he started challenging her, creating a scene.
He never bothered about his own infidelity, but was quick to judge the wife. Jealousy is good, it shows the other partner that you care about her and are inclined to be possessive over her, but it should not go further than that, because no form of tie legal or illegal can completely put a girl under a man, it takes love and understanding to do that, not law and jealousy.
when the green-eyed monster starts compelling you to go to such ridiculous ends as to start suspecting everything your wife does, or to start asking her how many affairs she has had and how many times she has committed abortion, it will pay to tell yourself, that you are threading on dangerous grounds and what you will find out, are the ugly things which will not only hurt you, but which you cannot do anything about.
Certainly it hurts when someone we love and trust betrays us, but let's not hurt ourselves further by making irrational decisions that we may regret later. If you have not experienced this form of betrayal(adultery) in your marriage, I pray you will never experience it, but remember to ask yourself this question now!
''WHAT WOULD I DO IF I CATCH MY SPOUSE WITH ANOTHER LOVER?'' you can leave your answers below.
What If You Catch Another lover With Your Spouse?
Reviewed by Anonymous
on
March 07, 2018
Rating:
Reviewed by Anonymous
on
March 07, 2018
Rating:
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