At what age should you let your daughter go on a date

   You are probably worried about the safety of your once little and innocent daughter, who is now growing and maturing at a faster pace.

But the growth and maturity is not the problem, you are more worried about the way she is beginning to take interest in the opposite sex and how she now gets obsessed with her looks and features, you are worried about her long stares at a place as if in a trance, just preoccupied with the thoughts of love, romance, friendship, marriage and kids.

All these makes you a little bit shaky and all concerned about the safety of your daughter and how to give her that parental protection, keep her from getting heart broken and save her from wild boys who lure girls of her age into their nest in the name of going on a date, only to leave them with an unwanted pregnancy and the trauma that comes with it.

These thoughts occupy your mind and makes you restless whenever you see her wink and smile at a handsome looking young lad or when she openly tells you that she is in love.

But wait a second, take a breath and ask yourself this question, Am I not being too proactive?. Why are you afraid to let your daughter experience love and be loved?.

Maybe you are just trying not to be a failure in being a good mother or that perfect father who never let any harm come to his family. But hey, you can't win all the time, especially when it comes to falling in love, because you can't switch love on and off like you do your table lamp.

You shouldn't be worried about all harm coming to your daughter, rather be concerned on the right age to let her go on an exclusive date with her lover, that is a one-on-one date. She may call it just 'going out' with a friend, but hey, we know what it is and what could happen at such dates with a stranger.

   Parents should allow their daughter to do the 'going out' with friends in-group level, that's okay, provided you know who the friends are or at least where they are going to. If she tells you the truth and you discern that the place wouldn't be safe for them(like a night club), she may try visiting a nicer place, but don't be bossy about this, try using the instructive discipline approach and she may see reasons with you to stay back.

Our focus here is on the right age to allow your daughter go on a one-on-one date. You know your kid too well on how morally instructed she is and also on how matured she is, but what about the second kid?. Here I suggest that both lovers should be of age 16-17 before any exclusive dates could happen.

At that age, it is expected that both has an understanding of what love is, if the little lady still thinks of such dates as a just 'going out' with a friend affair, then she needs a little lecture on what true love is. The parents can do the lecturing by having an open discussion on love and dating with the child. She may blush at the question ''Are you in love?'', but assure her that it is okay to tell you about him, ask her to invite the boy over for a lunch or dinner, if the boy comes to the family house for a dinner, then that shows he is serious, and his presence also solves the 'total stranger' issue.

At table you can openly tell the two lovers your past dating experiences, this will help keep them safe and also tell them that you are not trying to own their lives, for this could really piss teenagers off if they sense you are doing so.

In conclusion give them your support and remind them that they could still have lots of fun while being SAFE, after all, let them have their date and privacy wherever they wish to be and express their love for each other. Call it infatuation, youthful lust, greed, just some kids play, it doesn't matter now, they called it love, and so it is to them. With time, both will learn what it truly is.

Have your daughter ever asked you for a permit to go on a date or just to 'go out' with a friend and what was your reaction?, An outright ''hell no!, go and read your books?'', or ''You can go wherever you like, with whoever you want, who the hell cares.'' Share your experiences with us using the comment box.